It has been brought to my attention that this blog won't update itself [despite my very sincerest of hopes], so I've decided to take the initiative and write something about my North American adventure as it draws to a close.
It all started over 6 months ago at Sydney airport. Since June 16 it's been a hurricane of laughter, late nights, booze, gambling and one actual hurricane by the name of Fay while we were in Miami. I'll be returning with qualifications in First Aid, Casino Dealing and references for coaching tennis and childcare. I will be back with more money than I started with, mostly thanks to several long sessions spent at the poker tables. The money is mostly an illusion though, as I was flat broke on a number of occasions and am only alive because of several stimulus package bailouts provided by the Royal Bank of Mum.
I came to Canada with a backpack full of summer clothes without the slightest sense of the frozen hell that is Canada in Winter. By all accounts Vancouver never snows in December for more than a few hours [it usually falls at night when it gets cold then melts by the next morning]. Apparently my presence prompted it to snow for 3 weeks, causing Vancouver to completely freeze over, leaving 2 feet of ice and snow on the city. I then had to walk through said winter wonderland five nights a week to get to work for my 11pm-7am shift at the casino. Then four nights a week. Then two nights a week. Then finally, on my last schedule, three nights in a fortnight.
This catches me up to where I was somewhere during my last post. Out of the three shifts I was assigned, I got ONE. One shift. The casino totally fucked me in the proverbial ass which has left me on the couch of The House of Pain, watching re-runs of Californication. My only achievements from the last week are watching the entire two seasons of that show as well as the first season of True Blood [nothing quite like Sexy Redneck Vampires].
As monumental an achievement as this may be, I feel like the first month of this new year has been a total fucking bust. I was planning on achieving a lot of shit this year, a bunch of stuff and with about 8% of it over, I feel like I'm wasting my time already.
So, I'm really happy about coming home in 4 days time. I feel like my adventure has run its course. I'm having a farewell party at the house tomorrow night, a barhopping adventure on Sunday, a casino day followed by Australia Day celebrations on Monday, a miscellaneous hangover-nursing/packing day on Tuesday then I fly out on Wednesday. Altogether an action-packed end to a journey. The 26th of January promises to be off the fucking hook, stay tuned for the stories of that night. I'm planning to completely and utterly whore my accent out like the integrity-free motherfucker I am until I drop dead, end up arrested or unconscious in a pool of my own vomit [a distinction I've never quite earned]. Hopefully none of those things happen but if they do, consider myself warned.
Next post will most likely be with tales of Sunday barhopping or Australia Day - hopefully with some choice pictures included.
Til' next time.
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